About ExpireOnDate.com

ExpireOnDate.com is a goth, comedy-first death date calculator hosted by Morty — the Reaper's perpetually-anxious intern. You answer a few questions, and Morty stamps a cheeky "best-before date," builds you a headstone, starts a live countdown, and offers to put the whole thing in your calendar.

Why we built it

Memento mori — "remember you must die" — is one of the oldest ideas in human culture, and historically it's meant to make us live better, not scare us. We wanted a version that's funny, beautifully grim, and self-aware: a tiny nudge to appreciate your time, wrapped in skulls and candlelight. If it makes you laugh nervously and then text a friend, it's done its job.

Our approach to "accuracy"

We're upfront that this is a toy. Our estimates start from real-ish national life-expectancy figures, then apply deliberately exaggerated, comedy-weighted adjustments and a random wildcard. We explain the full method openly on the how it works page rather than hiding it — transparency is part of the joke and part of the trust.

Our ethics & care

• Entertainment only. We never present results as medical or scientific predictions. The disclaimer is everywhere on purpose.
• Privacy by design. Everything runs in your browser; nothing is sent to a server or stored. See our privacy policy.
• Kindness underneath the comedy. If you're actually struggling, please reach out to a doctor or a trusted person — that matters far more than a number from a website with this many bats.

Who makes this

ExpireOnDate.com is published by Genext Information Systems and produced by a small independent editorial team of writers and web developers who like dark humour and clean code. We are funded by advertising — not by selling anything to you, and not by selling anything about you.

Morty is not a person. He is a fictional mascot and narrator, and he is never the author of anything. He holds no qualifications, has no medical training, and has no opinions about your health. Where an article carries commentary in his voice, that commentary is kept clearly separate from the reported facts around it. Nothing on this site has been reviewed by a medical professional, and we do not claim otherwise — if we ever add clinical review, we will name the reviewer and their qualifications, because an unnamed "medically reviewed" badge is worth nothing.

How we verify a death before publishing

The news desk covers real deaths of real people, which is where the joke stops. Before an obituary goes up it must clear every one of these:

• Confirmation. An official statement from the family, an estate, a publicist or an employer — or, failing that, two reputable news organisations reporting it independently. One outlet citing another outlet is one source, not two.
• Date and age. The date of death stated explicitly, and the age arithmetic checked against a documented date of birth rather than copied from someone else's write-up.
• Cause. Included only where publicly confirmed by the family or an official record. Where it has not been disclosed, we say so. We do not infer it and we do not repeat speculation.
• Identity. Name spelling verified, and the person distinguished from anyone else of the same name.
• Images. Licence checked before use, with attribution and any share-alike condition honoured in the caption.
• Sources on the page. Linked, so you can check our work rather than take our word for it.

We never publish a page about a living person framed as a death, and never on the strength of a social media rumour. If something cannot clear the checklist, it does not go up. A missed scoop costs us nothing that matters.

Corrections

We get things wrong sometimes. When we do, we would rather hear about it quickly than defend it slowly.

• Report an error through the contact page. Anything concerning a death report is handled ahead of everything else.
• Corrections are made to the article itself, with a dated note at the bottom saying what was wrong and what changed. We do not quietly edit a page and pretend it always said that.
• If a report turns out to be substantially wrong — most seriously, a death that did not happen — the page is corrected or withdrawn immediately and set to noindex while the facts are re-established.
• Health pages carry a "last reviewed" date. Send us a better or more current source and we will use it, and move the date.

How we handle health information

The calculator is a toy. The health pages behind it are not, and we hold them to a different standard: a plain-language answer, the population and study design behind every figure quoted, an honest account of what the evidence does not establish, and a link to the source so you can read it yourself. Where researchers disagree, we say so rather than picking the tidier answer. Where a figure could not be verified, we say that too, instead of quoting one that reads well. Every source is logged in a register we keep in the open, with the date we last checked it.

None of it is medical advice, and none of it can tell you anything about your own lifespan. Population statistics do not predict individuals — that is not a disclaimer, it is just how statistics work.

Our use of AI

We use AI tools for drafting, code and research assistance, much as we use a spellchecker and a search engine. Every factual claim, statistic, source link and death report is checked by a human before publication, and nothing is published purely because a machine produced it. AI is not credited as an author, because it isn't one.

Advertising and funding

The site is free and paid for by advertising on the article and news pages, which is labelled as such. We do not accept payment to cover a particular death, to write about a particular person, or to place a link, and we have no affiliate relationships. Deliberately, no advertising or analytics of any kind runs on the calculator itself — not on the questions, not on the results. Your answers are nobody's business but yours, and that is enforced by a security header rather than by our good intentions. The privacy policy sets out exactly what happens to what you type.

Last updated: 15 August 2026.

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