Contact Us

Summon the living humans

There's a small team of real people behind Morty's theatrics, and we read every message. Whether you've spotted a typo, want to question our (deliberately unscientific) math, have a press enquiry, or just thought of a gloriously morbid feature — we'd love to hear from you.

The fastest way to reach us is email:

hello@expireondate.com

We typically reply within a few business days. The Reaper is punctual; his interns less so.

What to write about

One gentle note

ExpireOnDate.com is a comedy site, and the subject of mortality isn't light for everyone. We can't offer medical, psychological, or crisis support. If thoughts of death are weighing on you, please reach out to a doctor, a trusted person, or a local support line — you deserve real human support, and it matters far more than anything a goth website can say.

We aim to answer genuine messages personally. Spam and unsolicited link-building offers go straight to the crypt.

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