Joan Plowright
Actress
95
years
☠️
Died in England after years of failing sight.
Dame-level exit. Morty bowed.
Morty greets the new arrivals. He has been very busy.
Dead Celebs
The famous names whose best-before date came and went in 2025 and 2026. Everyone here was, at some point, extremely alive. Morty keeps this list mostly to remind himself that the guest list never gets shorter.
A note on tone: this site is a joke, but these people aren't. Every date and age below is drawn from published obituaries and reporting. Where a death was violent, we note the date and leave it there — this isn't the place for it.
100 of 100 names in the guest book.
David Lynch
Filmmaker
78
years
☠️
Cardiac arrest brought on by emphysema after decades of smoking.
Morty filed this one under 'the cigarettes always testify'.
Bob Uecker
Baseball broadcaster
90
years
☠️
Small-cell lung cancer.
Mr. Baseball. Morty gave him the good seat.
Dick Button
Olympic figure skater
95
years
☠️
Died at his Missouri home.
Landed it cleanly, as ever.
Marianne Faithfull
Singer
78
years
☠️
Died in London after a long illness.
As tears go by, and then rather quickly.
Gene Hackman
Actor
95
years
☠️
Heart disease with advanced Alzheimer's; found at his New Mexico home a week later.
Roberta Flack
Singer
88
years
☠️
Cardiac arrest; she had been living with ALS.
Killing us softly, right to the end.
Michelle Trachtenberg
Actress
39
years
☠️
Complications of diabetes.
David Johansen
Singer, New York Dolls
75
years
☠️
Stage 4 cancer and a brain tumour.
Punk's godfather clocked out at home.
Angie Stone
R&B singer
63
years
☠️
Killed in a car crash in Alabama.
Hazel Dukes
Civil rights leader
92
years
☠️
Died at her home in Harlem.
Ninety-two years of refusing to sit down.
Carl Dean
Businessman, Dolly Parton's husband of 60 years
82
years
☠️
Died in Nashville.
Famously never wanted the spotlight. Morty respected that.
George Foreman
Boxer & grill mogul
76
years
☠️
Died peacefully surrounded by family.
Two heavyweight titles and a countertop empire. Fair innings.
Mia Love
US Congresswoman
49
years
☠️
Brain cancer.
Val Kilmer
Actor
65
years
☠️
Pneumonia, years after surviving throat cancer.
Iceman. Doc Holliday. Morty's daytime is truly ruined.
Sophie Nyweide
Actress
24
years
☠️
Died in Maine at 24.
Pope Francis
Pope
88
years
☠️
A stroke followed by heart failure, the day after Easter.
Jiggly Caliente
Drag performer
44
years
☠️
Complications from a severe infection.
Jill Sobule
Singer-songwriter
66
years
☠️
Killed in a house fire in Minnesota.
Sabu (Terry Brunk)
Professional wrestler
60
years
☠️
Died weeks after his farewell match.
A career built on landing on tables. Morty is amazed it took this long.
Gerry Connolly
US Congressman
75
years
☠️
Oesophageal cancer.
Phil Robertson
Duck Dynasty patriarch
79
years
☠️
Alzheimer's disease and related complications.
The beard has been retired.
Loretta Swit
Actress, M*A*S*H
87
years
☠️
Suspected natural causes at her New York home.
Hot Lips has left the 4077th.
Valerie Mahaffey
Actress
71
years
☠️
Cancer.
Emmy-winning scene-stealer to the last.
Wayne Lewis
Singer, Atlantic Starr
68
years
☠️
Died after a period of ill health.
Always and forever, and then not.
Sly Stone
Funk pioneer
82
years
☠️
COPD and other long-standing health problems.
Thank you for lettin' Morty be himself again.
Brian Wilson
Beach Boys co-founder
82
years
☠️
Respiratory arrest; he had been living with dementia.
Morty played 'God Only Knows' and had a small moment.
Kim Woodburn
TV presenter, How Clean Is Your House?
83
years
☠️
Died after a short illness.
Went out spotless. Obviously.
Anne Burrell
Celebrity chef
55
years
☠️
Died at her home in Brooklyn.
Bill Moyers
Broadcast journalist
91
years
☠️
Complications from a long illness.
Asked better questions than most. Morty had none for him.
Diogo Jota
Liverpool & Portugal footballer
28
years
☠️
Car crash in northern Spain.
Ozzy Osbourne
Black Sabbath frontman
76
years
☠️
Cardiac arrest; he had Parkinson's disease.
Seventeen days after his farewell show. Morty calls that timing.
Chuck Mangione
Jazz musician
84
years
☠️
Died in his sleep at home in New York.
Feels so good. Right up until it didn't.
Hulk Hogan
Professional wrestler
71
years
☠️
Cardiac arrest at his Florida home.
Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the paperwork runs wild on you?
Tom Lehrer
Satirist & mathematician
97
years
☠️
Died at home in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Wrote 'We Will All Go Together When We Go'. Went alone. Typical.
Ryne Sandberg
Baseball Hall of Famer
65
years
☠️
Prostate cancer.
Alon Aboutboul
Actor, The Dark Knight Rises
60
years
☠️
Collapsed on a beach in Israel.
Jeannie Seely
Country singer
85
years
☠️
Complications from an intestinal infection.
Grand Ole Opry's most frequent flyer. Morty stamped it gently.
Kelley Mack
Actress, The Walking Dead
33
years
☠️
A glioma of the central nervous system.
Loni Anderson
Actress, WKRP in Cincinnati
79
years
☠️
Died after a prolonged illness.
Signed off from the station for good.
Jerry Adler
Actor, The Sopranos
96
years
☠️
Died in New York.
Ninety-six. Hesh outlasted everybody.
Graham Greene
Actor, Dances With Wolves
73
years
☠️
Died after a long illness.
Morty stood up for this one.
Giorgio Armani
Fashion designer
91
years
☠️
Died at his home in Milan.
Best-dressed arrival Morty has ever processed.
Polly Holliday
Actress, Alice
88
years
☠️
Pneumonia.
'Kiss my grits' — engraved, unofficially.
Charlie Kirk
Political activist
31
years
☠️
Died at 31 in Orem, Utah.
Robert Redford
Actor & Sundance founder
89
years
☠️
Died in his sleep at his home in Utah.
Left in the mountains he spent decades protecting.
Jane Goodall
Primatologist & conservationist
91
years
☠️
Natural causes, while on a speaking tour in California.
Working until the very last week. Morty took notes.
Diane Keaton
Actress
79
years
☠️
Pneumonia.
La-di-da, la-di-da. Morty is not okay.
D'Angelo
R&B singer
51
years
☠️
Pancreatic cancer.
Ace Frehley
KISS guitarist
74
years
☠️
Brain bleed after a fall at his home.
Dave Ball
Soft Cell co-founder
66
years
☠️
Died peacefully in his sleep in London.
Tainted love, untainted exit.
June Lockhart
Actress, Lassie & Lost in Space
100
years
☠️
Natural causes at home in Santa Monica.
A full century. Danger, Will Robinson, indeed.
Dick Cheney
Former US Vice President
84
years
☠️
Complications of cardiac and vascular disease.
Seven heart attacks and a transplant. He got extensions nobody else gets.
Diane Ladd
Actress
89
years
☠️
Died at her home in California.
Three Oscar nominations and a daughter to keep the trade going.
James Watson
DNA co-discoverer
97
years
☠️
Died in hospice care on Long Island.
Cracked the code of life. Did not crack the other one.
Sally Kirkland
Actress
84
years
☠️
Died in hospice care after a series of falls and infections.
Jimmy Cliff
Reggae singer
81
years
☠️
A seizure followed by pneumonia.
The harder they come. Morty hummed it all afternoon.
Fuzzy Zoeller
Golfer, Masters champion
74
years
☠️
Died at his home in Indiana.
Two majors and a whistle. Under par, overall.
Elden Campbell
NBA centre
57
years
☠️
Died at 57.
Rob Reiner
Director, When Harry Met Sally
78
years
☠️
Died alongside his wife Michele at their Los Angeles home.
Brigitte Bardot
Actress & animal rights activist
91
years
☠️
Died at her home in Saint-Tropez.
Left the movies at 39 and the rest at 91. Efficient.
Isiah Whitlock Jr.
Actor, The Wire
71
years
☠️
Died in New York.
Morty would quote the catchphrase, but this is a family website.
T.K. Carter
Actor, The Thing & Punky Brewster
69
years
☠️
Systolic heart failure, at his home in Duarte, California.
Roller-skated through an Antarctic horror film. Morty is impressed.
Bob Weir
Grateful Dead co-founder
78
years
☠️
Underlying lung problems, after beating lung cancer.
Sixty years of touring. The bus finally parked.
Roger Allers
Co-director, The Lion King
76
years
☠️
Died after a short illness.
Circle of life. Morty runs the last quarter of it.
Catherine O'Hara
Actress, Schitt's Creek & Home Alone
71
years
☠️
A pulmonary embolism triggered by rectal cancer.
Demond Wilson
Actor, Sanford and Son
79
years
☠️
Cancer.
Brad Arnold
3 Doors Down frontman
47
years
☠️
Cancer.
James Van Der Beek
Actor, Dawson's Creek
48
years
☠️
Colorectal cancer, 14 months after his diagnosis.
Robert Duvall
Actor, The Godfather
95
years
☠️
Died at his farm in Middleburg, Virginia.
Loved the smell of napalm. Morty prefers candles.
Jesse Jackson
Civil rights leader
84
years
☠️
Complications of Parkinson's disease.
Kept somebody, somewhere, on their feet for sixty years.
Eric Dane
Actor, Grey's Anatomy & Euphoria
53
years
☠️
ALS, less than a year after going public with his diagnosis.
Neil Sedaka
Singer-songwriter
86
years
☠️
Died at 86.
Breaking up is hard to do. So, apparently, is this.
Jennifer Runyon
Actress, Ghostbusters
65
years
☠️
Died at 65.
Morty checked: she was not, in fact, afraid of no ghost.
Matt Clark
Actor, Back to the Future Part III
89
years
☠️
Complications following back surgery.
Kiki Shepard
Host, Showtime at the Apollo
74
years
☠️
Heart attack.
Chuck Norris
Martial artist & actor
86
years
☠️
Died in Hawaii, surrounded by his family.
Morty triple-checked the paperwork. Twice. You understand.
Nicholas Brendon
Actor, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
54
years
☠️
Died at 54 after years of ill health.
Valerie Perrine
Actress, Superman
82
years
☠️
Complications of Parkinson's disease.
Dash Crofts
Singer, Seals & Crofts
87
years
☠️
Died at 87.
Summer breeze, permanent version.
James Tolkan
Actor, Back to the Future & Top Gun
94
years
☠️
Died at 94.
You're a slacker, Morty! Nobody has ever said it better.
Michael Patrick
Actor, Game of Thrones
35
years
☠️
Motor neurone disease, diagnosed in 2023.
Dave Mason
Traffic co-founder
79
years
☠️
Died at 79.
Rock Hall inductee. Feelin' alright, then rather less so.
Patrick Muldoon
Actor, Melrose Place & Starship Troopers
57
years
☠️
Heart attack at his Beverly Hills home.
Ted Turner
CNN founder & media mogul
87
years
☠️
A degenerative neurological disease causing dementia.
Invented rolling 24-hour news. Morty blames him for the anxiety.
Brandon Clarke
NBA forward, Memphis Grizzlies
29
years
☠️
Died at his home in Memphis at 29.
Kyle Busch
NASCAR champion
41
years
☠️
Died at 41.
Rob Base
Rapper
59
years
☠️
Cancer, kept private until the end.
Peabo Bryson
Grammy-winning singer
75
years
☠️
Complications from a stroke.
Sang two Disney love themes. Morty is only human. Sort of.
Anthony Head
Actor, Buffy & Ted Lasso
72
years
☠️
Complications from pneumonia.
The Watcher, watched no longer.
Oliver Tree
Singer & songwriter
32
years
☠️
Helicopter crash.
Anne Schedeen
Actress, ALF
77
years
☠️
Died peacefully.
Survived four seasons of a sarcastic puppet. That's stamina.
Daveigh Chase
Actress, The Ring & Lilo & Stitch
35
years
☠️
Complications from AIDS.
Joby Baker
Actor
92
years
☠️
Natural causes in Yonkers, New York.
Ninety-two and still getting billing.
Victor Willis
Village People frontman
74
years
☠️
A short but aggressive illness.
The original cop. Morty declines to spell anything out.
LeRoy Irvin
NFL cornerback, LA Rams
68
years
☠️
Throat cancer.
Bonnie Tyler
Singer
75
years
☠️
Complications after emergency intestinal surgery, in hospital in Portugal.
Sam Neill
Actor, Jurassic Park
78
years
☠️
Died suddenly in Sydney, having been declared cancer-free months earlier.
Hal Williams
Actor, 227 & Sanford and Son
91
years
☠️
Natural causes at home in Rancho Mirage, California.
Ninety-one years, zero fuss.
Brenda Fricker
Actress, My Left Foot
81
years
☠️
Died in Dublin after a period of ill health.
First Irish actress to win an Oscar. Morty stood for that one.
Nobody by that name has checked in yet. Lucky them.
What the guest book tells you
💀 A grim little fact
Scroll the list and one thing jumps out: the causes are boringly ordinary. Cancer, heart disease, stroke, pneumonia, lungs worn out by decades of smoking. Fame is not a risk factor, and it isn't a shield either.
The genuinely young names on this page are mostly accidents and aggressive illness that arrived decades early. That's the same shape as the general population, just with better lighting.
🔮 Myth vs. Morty
Myth: "Celebrities die in threes." They don't. You just notice the second and third one because the first put you in a counting mood. Roughly 170,000 people die every day worldwide; a handful happen to be famous, and clustering is what randomness looks like up close.
Morty has never once been handed a batch of three. He'd love that. It would make the paperwork so much tidier.
Compiled from published obituaries and news reporting (AP, Reuters, BBC, CNN, NPR, Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, Legacy.com and others). Ages and dates reflect the reporting available at the time of writing. Entertainment only.
🏷️ Right. Now calculate my doom →
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