Privacy & Cookies

Short version: everything happens in your browser. We don't run a server-side database, we don't sell data, and we don't set tracking cookies. Your answers sit in that one browser tab and die with it.

What we collect

Your nickname, birth month and year, sex, country, height, weight, and 24 question answers are processed entirely on your device to produce your result. This information is never transmitted to any server belonging to ExpireOnDate.com, and it is not written to a database, to cookies, or to localStorage.

To be precise about the one place it does go: while you work through the calculator, your answers are held in your browser's sessionStorage, under the keys eod_basics and eod_answers. That is what lets you press Back without losing your place. sessionStorage belongs to that single browser tab and the browser erases it when the tab closes. Nothing but the calculator reads it, and “Start again” on the results page clears it on the spot.

No third-party script of any kind — no advertising, no analytics, no error reporting — loads on the calculator pages (/basics, the 24 question steps, and /results). That is enforced by a Content-Security-Policy header on those routes rather than left to good intentions, so nothing third-party is in a position to read your answers even by accident. Advertising does run on the article and news pages, which never see any calculator data.

Two things leave your device, and only when you deliberately click them. Add to Google Calendar opens a pre-filled Google Calendar event, so Google receives the event title, the estimated date, and the description — which contains your nickname and the comic cause-of-doom paragraph. Share on X hands the same short summary to X. If you would rather neither company had it, don't press those two buttons; everything else works without them.

Cookies

The core calculator sets no cookies and uses no analytics or advertising trackers by default. If we ever add privacy-respecting analytics in the future, we will update this page and, where required, request your consent first.

Third-party links & services

• Google Calendar: the "Add to Google Calendar" button simply opens Google's own event-creation page in a new tab with your result pre-filled. Anything you do there is governed by Google's privacy policy, not ours.
• Social sharing: the share buttons either copy text to your clipboard or open a social network's compose window. We don't track shares.
• Hosted assets: fonts and styling libraries may load from third-party CDNs, which can see your IP address as part of normal web requests.

Children

This is an adult-oriented comedy site about mortality and is not directed at children under 13.

Contact & changes

Questions about privacy? Reach the editorial team via our contact page. We'll note any material changes here with an updated date.

Last updated: June 2026.